EMAIL # 213 - 24TH APRIL 2023-'WE TRUST YOU"

We Trust you.

These three words change everything.


For the last 4 years I have been simultaneously living the best and worst experiences of my professional life.


Mid 2019 I received a phone call from a previous client who told me they had just bought a beautiful property and they’re planning to do a major renovation. Her exact words were “we trust you and want you to do the renovation”. They had no design plans and no real idea of what they wanted to do, but they had a huge amount of trust in me from a previous building project together.


Fast forward 4 years and with this client last Friday we completed the most significant building project of my career.


In stark contrast Late 2019 I received another phone call from a previous client who verbally abused me and said, “our house is a piece of shit” (regarding a townhouse we had built 6 years prior).


The first project was built on trust.


The second project was built on a lack of trust.


Same builder and same team of tradesman but the contrast in the outcome could not be more dramatic.


“Trust your instincts. Intuition doesn’t lie” Oprah Winfrey


Trust is our most important human instinct.


Our instincts allow us to instantly judge, if a person is a friend or foe?


We have the incredible ability to rapidly evaluate someone’s integrity and if they are telling the truth or not?


Neuroscience shows us that the feelings of trust and love come from the same hormone “Oxytocin” (the love hormone). The more oxytocin our body releases the stronger the feeling of trust.


In the two client examples above, one resulted in a triumph of collective achievement and satisfaction and the other resulted in a toxic ongoing legal battle. With hindsight the negative outcome from the second relationships stems from a chronic lack of trust by the client and by me.


My biggest mistake is that 9 years ago I didn’t trust my instincts.


Back then just before signing the building contract, I said to Sharon (my then Building administrator) “something doesn’t feel right with these clients, I don’t know if I should sign this contract”. I didn’t trust my gut instinct and I am now paying the price.


“When you get in the mud with a pig, you get dirty, and the pig gets happy.” James Altucher


These experiences have taught me that in the presence of trust anything is possible, but in the absence of trust disaster is imminent. It’s just unfortunate that it’s taken me 35 years of building to fully understand this.


“A relationship without trust is like a car without petrol. You can stay in it, but it won’t go anywhere”. Unknown


Thanks for reading,

Stay safe and stay out of the mud.



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